trifecta of sorts

Sunday night, the weekend really started to get interesting. Lolita decided to back out of coming to Brandon’s birthday party. James and I went, and he really took to the group. I kept thinking he’s really folding into the SF mix pretty well, and he mentioned how cool he thought my friends are. Sweet. Lolita gave me an assignment before we parted; tell Carlee about us. No problem, I thought. There’s nothing between us anymore but the continuation of a really great friendship. Well, I failed; I wussed out. The “topic never came up”. Oh well, we all had fun, and Kim’s cooking was fantastic. Then, as I was leaving B’s gig, I got a phone call from Sally. Uh oh. I screened it.

She called again, and I answered. She spoke as she walked: “Hey where are you?” “Out in the Richmond” I started recognizing the echo of her footsteps… oh shit. She was in the lobby of my apartment building. I heard the familiar door buzzer as someone let her in. She was walking up the stairs. I asked “Where are YOU?”. “At your place! Who do you live with?” “A guy named James” I grew suspicious, as James was standing right beside me. “How did you get in the building, Sally?” “Someone let me in.”

I started to realize in that instant that Sally and I were not on the same page of our former relationship. Clearly, she was looking to rekindle something that in my mind had burned out nearly two years ago. “Sally, that’s my new girlfriend who let you in.” It was the first time I had used the word to describe Lolita. It felt awkward. Lo and I haven’t really had that “conversation” yet. But it was necessary in this case for the sake of brevity and to make a point. Sally’s tone turned quickly. “Oh…” pause. “oh, ok, I’m sorry, I’ll let you go” I knew I had hurt her. It was something I promised never to do when we were together. She hung up.

James and I headed for the #38 bus. I started thinking about the narrowly avoided catastrophe, and what could have been had she not called. Then I started wondering why she called in the first place if someone had let her in. Something wasn’t right. Then she called again. “Hey, I met your girlfriend. Lolita, right?” “Uh, yes…” She continued, “Don’t worry, I told her I was looking for James”. I pictured my dating life coming to an abrupt end. I couldn’t believe what was happening. I was a late bloomer growing up; couldn’t get a date to save my life in high school, and college wasn’t much better. Suddenly, I’m faced with the prospect of 3 relationships, past and present, riding hard and fast into a dangerous turn… a trifecta I would never have bet on. I cut the conversation short, saying things like “we kinda drifted apart over the last two years” and “I hope this doesn’t hurt our friendship.” I felt like such a weasel, but I needed to do some damage control.

I called Lolita and told her the truth. I mentioned that the girl who had just lied to her was an ex from my previous SF life. I knew Lolita would see right through the “I’m looking for James” schtick, particularly because she knew that he was new to the city. Lo was not impressed. I was in deep shit, and the bus ride home took way to long.

She was sitting on my “bed”; the futon mattress that was now serving temporary duty on the floor in my bedroom. She was dressed up, hair was curled, easy on the makeup, and working on her students’ grades. My affection for her grew ten-fold upon realizing that she had not just left. I stared for a moment as if to see her for the first time in a year. She was beautiful. Ready for a night on the town. I swallowed the largest lump of humble-pie that my throat I could muster and I started explaining.

Here’s the deal guys. Eat crow while it’s warm. I’m not talking about women, here. It’s bigger than that. I learned as a kid that lies and cover-ups benefit no one in the long run. I used to lie to my own parents and siblings as if there were no consequences. Little did I realize at the time that trustworthiness is a critical part of growing up. Without it, you’re alone. People who care about you stop caring, and that’s the part that sucks. Having learned this lesson early (thank you, Boy Scouts of America), I knew I didn’t want to mess this up, so I made the investment early… while the crow was still warm. I think we grew a lot closer that night. It was our first 2-hour “rough patch”. How cute, eh?

So it turns out that Sally pulled a real psychotic move that night. Not only did Lolita not buzz her in, but Sally kept ringing apartments until someone did. Kinda weird, but it gets worse. After I spoke with Sally, I figured she would turn around and leave. No. She continued and knocked on my door. I can’t imagine what might have been going on through Lo’s mind at this point, but it couldn’t have been good. Expecting perhaps to see me, she instead saw Sally. At Sally’s flank was her side-kick, Judy. I never really liked Judy. Picture Wren and Stimpy, and you have a pretty good idea of what these two are all about when they’re together. So it turns out that Sally was unphased by the news of my relationship. She apparently wanted to get a good look at this new girlfriend, and concocted a scheme to knock on the door and throw out a lie. I lost a lot of respect for Sally that night.

I learned later that Lo, of course, was calm, cool, and collected during that delicate little moment. I’m growing to like her more and more.