lessons learned

A lot has happened over the last few weeks. I’m single again. Not my choice, but single nevertheless. I also now have an enemy in Mark, my old roommate. He chose the dollar over a friend, and for the first time in a long time, a bridge has burned fairly spectacularly.

Mark is the gentleman-scholar who, for the past few years, has had trouble maintaining new friendships longer than the time it takes for his ego to really present itself. As a result, he seems to have burned more bridges lately than he has created or strengthened. This isn’t a loss on my part, but it’s not a pretty situation either. As long as I’ve known him, he’s been little more than polite to me, rude to my friends, has led a self-serving and cluttered life in San Francisco, and he is the reason I had to blow my one free weekend this summer ridding the apartment of, among other things, a several-year-old blanket of grease and dust. I was thinking about the series of Visa or Citibank ads preaching that quality of life ought to be held in higher regard than money spent in maintaining it. I believe these ads are targeted toward the Marks of the world; those who measure their success by the personal monetary value created by their decisions and actions. For me, the message is clear: stick to the fundamentals; family, love, friends, health… the things that have the biggest affect on happiness. In the end, he has vowed (threatened) to “teach me a lesson” out of this. What he may not realize is that I’ve already learned one much more valuable than the one he may have had in mind.

Speaking of spectacular fireballs, so ended the relationship with Lolita. In one week’s time, it went from love to “I can’t date you anymore, the distance and your traveling are too much for me”. The phone call came while out with some friends for the start of the North Beach Jazz Festival. She was nervous and had trouble spitting it out. I was a bit shocked, didn't say much other than, "okay, let me call you in a couple hours" and that was that. My messages went unanswered for a week. Since then, including during an awkward performance weekend in North Carolina, it’s been little communication if any. This one hurt. It’s taken every ounce within me to respect her wishes, but sometimes I can’t help but think “what the fuck?”. Of course, the sad irony here is with the conversation I had with Sally wherein I dealt her somewhat the same kind of blow. Yes, this was a bitter lesson in karma that I cannot dispute, but I am going to miss this girl for a good while.